narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via pooncrusader)

bridle-less:

It makes me uncomfortable when people say that their horses are their boyfriends

(via ontheflat)

rlmjob:

bestlittle1:

rlmjob:

*puts on sexy underwear but accepts the fact that no one will see it*

But knowing daddy bought them is good enough for me.

image

(via watsonfuck)

sherlock-needs-his-john:

Our parents warned us about middle aged men stalking us on the Internet but oh how the tables have turned

(Source: sherlockocity, via ballofawkwardness)

carryonmy-assbutt:

cancerianstargazer:

d-and-s-winchester:

katterpon:

crimunals:

send this to an ex, crush, friend, parent, sibling, cousin, teacher. it works for all.

I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT, BUT IT WASN’T THAT

Please don’t send this to your teacher

PLEASE DO SEND HIS TO YOUR TEACHER

WHY WOULD YOU SAY DON’T SEND THIS TO YOUR TEACHER BEFORE SAYING DON’T SEND THIS TO YOUR PARENTS

(Source: denielsharman, via geniuslester)

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